back in the building (the foyer anyway)....

Wow. You get so used to running hard (even if in place) that you forget that fatigue is real and has the patience to outlast your will. That is not "bitchassness" as Combs might quote, as much as it is a metaphysical fact of life. If your using a lot, you have a lot replace. Being conscious of this, before the crash, may be a saving grace. I eased up a bit. I did so just long enough to realize how heavy life is right now and was damn near crushed by the thought(s). I need sleep, money and atonement. The fact that I can't tell which is more important, disturbs me on so many levels.
If money came as easy as sleep, I'd be great. Unfortunately it doesn't and I'm a grouchy when desperate. My Vice President (my wife for those that haven't read past blogs) paid the car note, which was past due 60 days. Even as a self-proclaimed philosopher I must say losing and being a loser just SUCKS. At times like this, I can answer to no other title. To my defense I have may be $3000 worth of speculative work on the table @ the deposit phase, but that doesn't work @ the gas pump. To make matters worse, I have to locate my swagger in order to handle new clientele. Not an easy task to achieve, when you're watching your wife carry weights no one person should lift. Bad time to blog.
Today I woke up, composed myself, and made all the right emails and calls. Finalized a design for my Father's 60th birthday party invitation, responded to a Muse revision request and had delightful client interview with the Co-owner of a Soul Food restaurant. Suddenly I realized how heavy my skill set is and I started flexing before the mirror that is my mind. Coordinates of Swagger triangulated. Blogger, I'm back......woohoo!